Friday, August 26, 2011

Planets, Gods & The Color Orange

Mercury is coming out of retrograde today.  If you're not up on the subject, when Mercury is in retrograde things break, become a mess or are simply screwed up in general.  Case in point, our AC went out this morning!

But, I'm keeping it positive.  The AC man actually called us back and is on his way. 

So, I believe the end is in sight and it appears things are looking up! 

Examples...

C (who is the most brilliant and handsome person on the planet) has cured my computer of its mega viral infection.  And, he managed to recover all the lost files and folders! 

I’ve been working on a project for months and have been very excited until everything seemed to derail about a week ago, but it appears things are getting back on track. My Town & Country horoscope says I’ll have good news on that front after today and Town & Country is never wrong.



Tomorrow is the last day of this idiot crash diet I’m on and I’ll not have to eat any more of this…  

Dieting sucks, but I have lost a few pounds in the past 8 days which is good and that's given me a kick start to move forward.  But, on Sunday I’m taking a day off and eating this.  

Next week I start a health conscience low fat approach.  I don’t know how skinny actresses and super models do it!  Eating only an apple and a half chicken breast per week leaves my dizzy and weak.

Great dress...skinny model...


But instead of looking like this…. 

(OK...I'm not quite to this stage yet)

I’ll be looking like this soon...


Or this...


...except I have both of my arms and my penis isn't broken off.

Now that I think about it, I believe I’ve always considered Mercury to be my favorite ancient god.  I think it’s because of his shoes!  Seriously, wings on your feet or hat, how great would that be (Note the segway from Mercury in Retrograde to Mercury the god)

I found these.  They’re trouser clips to keep your pant legs from getting caught in your bicycle chain.  If you wear these to ride a bike you will look like a dumb ass.  However, I may order me a pair.  I don’t have a bike, but I think I would wear them around the house with a pair of boxer shorts or while having sex.  Either would be appropriate.

After searching for images of Mercury statues I now realize there may be other reasons I’ve subconsciously considered him my favorite….

Early Erotica...

Poster for the 1922 Prague International Fair

Queen...


Super Nurse...

Poser...

Really...

Disturbing in so many ways...

Lord of the Gays


Muscle Super Hero
You get the picture…


Then all this talk about Mercury got me thinking about Hermes and I realized I finally had a way to incorporate these images into a blog post that was somewhat relevant, albeit contrived. 

Elle Decor

Design Sponge


photo credit Thibault Jeanson


House Beautiful

I'd like to meet the asshole who piled all these boxes in this shower...

Steven Gambrel

Hermes Pippa Collection Console
$8,550...seriously...



Hermes Pippa Collection Folding Chair
$11,100...I don't know if that's dollars or euro...
but at that price it really doesn't matter...
Oh...there's a footstool too...
A steal @ only $6,250...
if you're interested.

6 comments:

  1. The best read I've had in a while! Love the way you brought in the color orange.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mercury is preventing me from leaving a comment. It says I do not have authorization to do so. I beg to differ, bitch.

    Anyway, you're in rare form today. Very amusing.

    ReplyDelete
  3. wow, so much here and it's all so funny. you really do kill me. xo janet

    ReplyDelete
  4. like steve said 'rare form' indeed, in more ways than one

    LOL great visuals on the blog and in my head, especially your wearing the wing cuffs around the house!
    debra

    ReplyDelete
  5. All one could think of was, legs in flight. As a piler of H boxes in the shower, I was not in the least offended by your characterisation.

    ReplyDelete
  6. its not all low fat diet that works. big myth. you need fats, saturated fats too, you just want the source to be grass fed / organic / and all that good stuff.

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...